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1. Response #2 is an improvement over Response #1, because it is more positive in tone. Justin Improved uses language that assumes a sense of professionalism whereas Loren Lackluster responds to Todd Riley as if she has personally rejected his application as opposed to it being a legality.
2. Response #3 is am improvement over both #1 and #2, because the language is straightforward and the tone is positive. Paula Persuader is responding for the most part in a professional manner. In all business writing, tone is just as important as the message being conveyed. Jameson (2009) states that writers need insight into a readers’ psyche in order to manage tone. They must anticipate how the reader might emotionally respond. The third response is considerate of how Todd might respond emotionally to receiving the bad news that he has been rejected for a credit card on his own. Using improper tone is self-defeating in business communication (Jameson, 2009), and the language and tone that Paula utilizes in her letter let’s Todd know that FlashExpress is doing all that they can to get him the credit that he wants.
3. I am responsible for sending letters to job applicants who have applied to positions within my unit informing them that we would not be hiring them for the position. Oftentimes, the candidates are well-qualified with the knowledge, skills and abilities for the job, however, it comes down to fit and how developed they are in applying soft skills in certain situations. With these types of letters I am usually sending the traditional bad-news letter that adopts the organizational strategy of the buffer, an explanation, the refusal and the hopeful ending (Smart, Hicks & Melton, 2012). I cannot envision any other way that one can deliver a message for denial of employment; a message delivered with a positive spin can be viewed as being condescending.
Jameson, D. (2009). Management consulting and teaching: Lessons learned teaching professionals to control tone in writing. Business Communication Quarterly, 72(3), 333-338. Retrieved from http://web.a.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.umuc.edu/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=2&sid=768cadb8-61ee-4acd-91cd-be44188eeff3%40sdc-v-sessmgr02
Smart, K., Hicks, N., & Melton, J. (2012). Using problem-based scenarios to teach writing. Business Communication Quarterly, 76(1), 72-81. Retrieved from http://eds.a.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.umuc.edu/eds/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=1&sid=b5b43d7a-6b78-4708-acc1-eb2c462be18f%40sdc-v-sessmgr05
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